The world is burning and every year I go to K-Mart and buy the exact same $20 pedestal fan I bought the year before.

The sea levels are rising, but I'm saving up for a cool jet ski.

The ozone layer is growing faster than your rent, but that's okay coz now the local pool is positioned for perfect tanning!
The Earth isn't in orbit, it's in an anxiety spiral, but don't fret. I've got about 50 minutes of jokes to distract you; Temporary Solutions To Permanent Problems.